i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
