I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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