Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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