Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
