apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
