Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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