Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
