The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Green mimosas i think yes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
