it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
