is your mom at the bar?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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