Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
