she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
