He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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