well I can't set my house on fire every night
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
