Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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