Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
