And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize