I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
