I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
