She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
