Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize