dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I am available for nakedness
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
