hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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