Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
