shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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