You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
