I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
