It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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