were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
