Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
