he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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