i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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