Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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