her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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