oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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