I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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