Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize