A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
