I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
