I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
