your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
