just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
