She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
