is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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