stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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