In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Sober January is a disaster.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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