I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
