Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
