my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
