In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
