Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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