Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
