after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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