college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
