dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
