you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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