dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
