I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
