my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
