wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
