I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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