we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
