so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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