I am in a vortex of obligation.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
