Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
