When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I love you.
Bad choice
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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